A blog about the code of life

I remember the moment those words left my mouth what they meant, and if I was going to make it in this life, I was to adhere to them. You see, I tend to over think a lot and this can cause a lot of anxiety and problems in life. Especially those made up problems I come up with that don’t exist. 🤷‍♂️

I also remember the first time I said them to someone. Now I am wondering what this person has done with these words. And, am currently writing this to further strengthen, and, bring a deep understanding as to what I meant.

You see, the thing about it is – I’ve lived a large part of my life shielded by this deep feeling of brief fear where I get frozen, over think everything at an accelerated pace, sometimes I can speak and move, and then, sadly, self destructing or totally avoiding a moment or opportunity. Fear that I am going to mess something up was another process I had to work through.

Something is most definitely wrong with me!

I’d tell myself this over and over again – I mean, there has got to be something wrong with me!

Or, and quite possibly a contributing factor to this – “Anxiety”, or “Over Thinking”, is low self esteem.

“Anxiety is nothing more than an internal battle with an even more internal resistance attempting to surface”

Tyler Michael
10.19.21.8:55

Now, don’t get me wrong – Anxiety is crippling – but it is, internal, after all, isn’t it? I mean can I provide you anxiety, or, can you go to to the store and purchase a bottle of anxiety to go?

But seriously, it’s that simple yet so complex.

Let’s paint a Tyler Picture for a moment. Imagination Time

You and I are hiking through the forest, heading back to our vehicles from a 10 mile trail. I run into the darkness all of a sudden merely saying “I have to pee BRB!”

So, “….BRB!” I scream and Im gone. ☁️

Now, pretend you didn’t know that I’m falling into this imaginary black hole and you’re just waiting for me to come back from peeing. After sometime; you’re going to get curious, you search for me, I don’t respond. Now what?!?!

You might start feeling slightly curious, anxious, or like you want to search for me or something similar. 
Now same scenario but pretend you have my location in your phone, and it leads you right to me, and then you’re able to see pull me up from black hole, and I am safe.
- You with me? 

Just incase I did lose a few with my imagination along the way, what I’m trying to say is the moment we start feeling something that is similar or close to anxiety – Recognize it for what it is and then cut it out. What if…run with me for a sec, what IF I told you, you could change your life by changing that very imminent thought pattern you experience right before social or other anxiety starts happening?

You can. Because it is your own. And NO one but you truly has that power.

I painted that picture above and I truly hope it makes sense because I made it up. But anxiety is made up too. People are dying to see the ugliest version of you. People want new and exciting. People want failure and disaster. We love the chaos. So why not embody it?

This post is so far off track. Here’s the truth, a friend of mine whom I’ve known for years recently told me the entire city of Tiguan, where he lives, HATES him. I was astounded. You mean that much to these people that they all have enough energy to consistently day after day concentrate on hating you? Remarkable.

But what he is experiencing is his own reflection of self visionary values of worth and replacing strengths with failures. Very normal – But it’s incorrect. People want to see how you bounce back; Okay you uffed a little. What’d you do about it? Facing things head on isn’t always the right approach. But something, internally or externally must be done.

Here’s my point and then you can go, You’re just not that important because peoples attention spans don’t last that long. Seriously, while you’re drowning in yesterday – Everyone surrounding you has moved on to next weeks episode of The Young Reckless Leaders of Amerika.

So why do we allow ourselves to put ourselves back in that box of yesteryear?

Stop. Stop it now! Grab that box, and grab a bag, throw the bag in the box and throw the entire shamble away! you are a new person every moment of every second of every day. We are an ever evolving species and if you make a mistake or something goes wrong – release it because it’s not yours to hold on to anymore. you learned and grew from it and it’s time to move on! You are worth the freedom that comes with leaving your past and the feelings and guilt and mess that comes along with it. YOU ARE INCREDIBLE AND ARE MEANT FOR SO MUCH MORE! Rise! Embrace! Show the world Your Filth!